Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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