i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize