I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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