have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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