So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.