It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
