Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
