We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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