one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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