you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
