I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
