why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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