I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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