You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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