There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Enjoy the penises
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
