when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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