i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize