No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
