Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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