I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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