I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
