so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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