Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Rumble strips road head = magical
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
