Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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