Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
