i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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