Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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