he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
