he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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