plz talk dirty to me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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