Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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