I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
do herpes really smell.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
