I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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