My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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