it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
