you would pick up someone in the library
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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