just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
