the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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