A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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