that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
