i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
