So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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