I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize