o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
then he tried to convert me to islam
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
