We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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