Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
