Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
