hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
