last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
