We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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