does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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