Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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