her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
