my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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