You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
NoShamevember. You game?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
