you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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