Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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