That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize