I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
