Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
