I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
