About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
