When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
