I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
