just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
